It feels so good amidst all the horror I don't care

in a car on the highway
lawrence is driving
on the loop around a city
surreal building structures
impossible rizzoli buildings
then a mushroom cloud
with psychedelic fractal paisleys
it is hypnotic mesmerizing
multicolored to the point of obscenity
all throbbing as the mushroom cloud rises
I cannot take my eyes from it
I say to lawrence
fuck it it's all over
he is driving calmly
steering around the wrecks
of other cars
from seeing the explosion
this is just the beginning
he says
totally relaxed
the explosion has destroyed
the base of one of the tall buildings
a deco oz structure
the main tower is collapsing
in slow motion
seems as if it will fall on us
lawrence is unconcerned
he takes my hand
and sucks on my fingers
his eyes like a cartoon deer
all al black and shining
long curved lashes
watching me lovingly
as he takes another finger
into his mouth
it is disconcerting and disturbing
but pleasurable
I do not pull away
the psychedelic mushroom cloud
continues to rivet my attention
lawrence is no longer watching the road
just continuing to lick my fingers
it feels so good amidst all the horror
I don't care
I know we will die soon