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Run Over Him! by B. Jones

The Blues is just a funny feeling.
Yet people call it a might bad disease.

- Lightning Hopkins

Nex thin ah herd
uh big sireen comn,
Whee whee whee.

An do you know
wha duh Man wuz do n?

He wuz comn
down dere cawz
ah wuz n duh ditch.

He drov up dere
an he stopt an got owt
an sed:

- Boy!

- Yessah?

- Say lissn, wha yoo do n parkt heah?

- Ahm not parkt, suh, ahm stuk.

- Yoo gotta talk bettur dan dat ta me.

- So, wellsuh, yoo see mah wheelz iz awl n duh mud.

Say:

- Ah cant do no bettur.

Say:

- Wha can ah do?

He sed:

- Howd yoo get heah?

Ah sed:

- Ah drov up dere.

- Wha happun to yoo ta get down n da ditch?

Ah sed:

- Ah seez uh FAT BLACK PIG runnin cross duh road.
Ah gotton mah brakes ta keep frum runnun ova him
an ah curvd n dah ditch, SUR! Iz dat cleah?

He sed:

- Yor goin wit me weah goin fo da Judge.

Duh Man take me n hiscar,
carry me off 
to an Ol Butchur
who wento cuttn meat.

- HEY JUDGE!

Duh Judge say:

- Yeauuh?

- AH GOTCHOO WON!

(Talkn bowt Po Lightnin.)

He say:

- Yeah, yeah, ah be witchoo n jussa minut.

He pulls off dat Bloody Apron,
dat ol hood de haton,
an he put him on uh cleen won,
an walkt owt.

- So dissiz him? he aska.

- So wha happn?

- He wuz parkt down dere on da rongsido da road... Ah askt him wha he wuz dere fo an he came up with sumodat fanndaddee.

- Well, boy, lissun. Yoo knows bettur dan dat, dontchoo?

Ah sed:

- Ah dun dah bess ah cood, suh.

- Well, why yoo parkt dere?

Ah sed:

- Ah see uh BIG FAT BLACK PIG runnin cross da road... An ah goton mah brakes an mah backend curvd n duh ditch.

An ah sed:

- Izdat cleah?

He sed:

- Fihunnertdollas.

Ah sed:

- Well, how, wha iz ah gonna do?

He sed:

- Lissun, boy. (Dat wuz duh Judge.)

He sed:

- Yoo eber binup befor me befor?

An ah sed:

- Well...

Wha times do yoo getsup?

Ha hun ha ha ha

Hun hun hun ah

O boy, ah tells yoo...

So, if yoo eber go bak
to Nort Carolina
an sees a Fat Black Pig
runnin cross duh road...

RUN OVER HIM!




Adapted from
the Les Blank Film,
The Blues According
to Lightning Hopkins:
A Well-Spent Life.





1992
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