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Wow Mom Wow

Wow Mom Wow! Look at that cow! said Bishop from the car.

I see, I see, said she, that cow’s as pretty as can be.

Can we get out? Did Bishop shout. Can we get out and see that cow?

Without a doubt, my child, said Bishop’s Mom. Let's turn about and we’ll get out to see that cow.

Wow Mom Wow! That sure is a funny cow! yelled Bishop from the fence.

Now, now, my dear, said she, you musn’t make fun of those less fortunate than we.

That’s right son, said Farmer Sam. And I’ll tell you now and how this cow is wiser than any woman or any man.

And just as that was said and known, the cow stretched out its strange long head and went: A... U... M.

Wow Mom Wow! Did you hear that funny cow? asked Bishop from the field.

Why yes I did, said she. Most cows I’ve heard only say Moo. Please tell me, Farmer Sam, what did that cow say and do?

Well, said Farmer Sam, its really nothing bad or worse, but this cow says Moo in reverse.

Wow Mom Wow! Is this a backwards cow? asked Bishop by the well.

I’m certain I don’t know, said she, exactly what this cow may do or be.

I’ll tell you Bishop, said Famer Sam, but its hard in words that this cow is the point around which turns all stars and earth and birds.

Wow Mom Wow! Is that true? Is this funny cow the center of me and you?

And everything that is, added Farmer Sam. The fields, the trees, the heavens and man.

That’s hard to believe without some proof, said Bishop’s Mom. Is there some way of showing what this cow can do?

Of course, of course, cried Farmer Sam. Come to the barn as quick as you can.

Wow Mom Wow! Look at that barn door! It’s bigger than any I’ve ever seen before! cried Bishop by the barn.

Now watch with all of your mind, said Farmer Sam, what’s going to happen, if you can.

Come on, Yoo-Moo, come on. Yoo-Moo is the cow’s name, said Farmer Sam. Go on through the door now, if you can.

Wow Mom Wow! Now that cow has no head! Cried Bishop at his mother’s side.

I most certainly can’t believe my eyes, Bishop’s mother then replied.

Go on, Yoo-Moo, go on through. Let’s show these folks what you can really do.

Wow Mom Wow! Now that cow is only half and now I really want to laugh! Cried Bishop dancing round.

Me too, me too, said she. That half a cow is as funny as can be.

Yoo-Moo, Yoo-Moo, go on through, there’s still more for you to do, said Farmer Sam.

Wow Mom Wow! Now all I see is the cow’s tail!

Yes, I see, I see, replied she, it's almost impossible to believe.

And that’s as far as it can go, said Farmer Sam. If Yoo-Moo went entirely through, that would mean the end of me and you.

Wow Mom Wow! That sure is a crazy cow, whispered Bishop by the door.

I certainly must agree, said she. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

And so the tale of Yoo-Moo the cow hangs magically before you now. And as long as there is me and you, this tail will never go entirely through.

For as I hope you’ve learned. Yoo-Moo is the center of the Universe.

Later on, when you are back home, listen closely and you can hear Yoo-Moo saying, 

A-U-M A-U-M A-U-M

The End.

November 1991
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