VITA












I have...

  • been punched in the face for no reason
  • had my nose broken two times
  • been hit by a car in the middle of the night and left for dead
  • had amnesia
  • been accused of murder, rape, arson and organized robbery
  • been reported more than once to American's Most Wanted
  • been interviewed extensively by the police regarding these accusations
  • been investigated twice by the F.B.I. because of where I worked
  • been betrayed by some of my closest friends
  • been robbed at gunpoint on my birthday
  • been in love five times
  • had my heart broken seven times - once by a dog
  • known that a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth, and I also can find no sign on it
  • had half of my face stay paralyzed with Bell's Palsy for three weeks
  • chicken pox, hepatitis, herpes, gout and a bad liver
  • two wisdom teeth and no appendix
  • broken my arm in two places trying to drive a motorcycle through a steel cable
  • had a bug crawl into my ear while I was sleeping and wake me up by eating my eardrum
  • had a dog bite me for no good reason
  • jumped over a rattlesnake while running through Chaco Canyon
  • been hiking at Land's End and witnessed the birth of a lamb with the sunrise
  • also witnessed the birth of humans, horses, cats, dogs, rats, mice, hamsters, gerbils, chickens, cardinals, mockingbirds and snakes
  • wrecked several cars
  • had seven bicycles stolen
  • gotten drunk and forgotten where I left my bicycle, believed it to have been stolen, bought a new one, only to later find my old one safely locked up in front of another bar
  • woken up on a sidewalk in Barcelona in a dried pool of my own vomit with no clue and incredibly happy
  • screamed drunkenly at monkeys in Spain and been told to stop by the police
  • put my fist into a friend's mouth to stop him from screaming while we were on L.S.D.
  • lost most of my friends
  • cultivated the capacity for solitude
  • fed over 200 people at a Thanksgiving Dinner
  • been in jail three times
  • worshipped strange gods, made images of them, taken most of their names in vain, worked a month of Sundays, commited adultery, stolen, lied, cheated and coveted occasional items of my neighbor
  • never murdered or raped anyone
  • hitchhiked all over England
  • done most drugs more than once
  • been addicted to drugs and will be for the rest of my life
  • committed horrible acts of betrayal to people I love because of drugs
  • done bad things to many friends because of drugs
  • made life very difficult for people I don't even know because of drugs
  • lied with great facility and dark pride because of drugs
  • seen all my words become emptied out and die
  • ruined my life more than once
  • never lost hope
  • risked my life too many times
  • used up enough luck to last through a hundred lives
  • seen more than a dozen people die first hand
  • never wanted to leave the Black Sail in Cumbria, England, the Monastery of Christ in the Desert in New Mexico, Metora in Greece, Chania in Crete, Isla de Mujeres in Mexico, Santiago de Compostella in Spain and Austin, Texas.
  • walked across the North of Spain trying to remember god
  • biked through the deserts of New Mexico trying to forget god
  • fallen asleep at a crossroads in the desert
  • played guitar on the streets of Austin for money to buy coffee at Les Amis
  • been homeless - by choice - for over a year
  • found that Bellingham, Washington is the nicest place I have ever lived
  • had more strangers and new friends open their doors to me than I ever deserved
  • watched those I love most slowly lose their minds
  • spent of lot of time with a human skull in my hands
  • thought about suicide once a week for 35 years
  • read a lot of books
  • watched the sun rise over or set under the Adriatic Sea, Aegean Sea, Atlantic Ocean, Carribean Sea, Gulf of Alaska, Gulf of Mexico, Ionian Sea, Mediterranean Sea, and the Pacific Ocean
  • had more good days than bad
  • been genuinely surprised and overwhelmed by an old friend
  • known that I would be lost or dead were it not for my sister and JGM
  • known that the ones I once loved, I always will
  • dreamed like you wouldn't believe
  • caught some really big fish
  • helplessly watched the best part of myself die in the Desert and burn for days on a pyre
  • found god, lost god and known the Grace of Just Being