16 - Letter from my Mother. Reply include a story for Mr. Seay from Ute Trail.
18 - Letter to David and Staci referencing the Great Guest House Battle of '86. Much has changed over the last few weeks.

22 - Wrote the song "Hurricane".


3 - Letter to Diana Harris from Life Times thanking her for publishing me. Letter to Michel referencing Lisa and my wedding. Living at 4408 Ave. D (Front).


4 - Long letter to Robert Pendleton.

19 - Twenty-five years old.


19 - Letter to Michel. Reference to getting at job at Bookstop, Lincoln Village. 
20 - Wrote the song "What is and What Should Never Be".



4 - Break up with Lisa Bruner. Austin, TX. Working at Bookstop in Lincoln Village. Living at 4408 Ave. D.
5 - Reading, writing, at Les Amis, riding a bike around Austin

11 - Thu - Drive the Camaro down to So. Padre to see my father, who I haven't seen in over 10 years.

June 11 - Thursday - Drive the Camaro down to So. Padre to see my father, who I haven't seen in over 10 years. Turtles cross the road. The empty beach. Father is working at a local's place called Jake's. Meet Bhookie, Nikki, Judi, Jake. Go to Coral Reef. Talk late into the night about a war.

"His father was not a god born upon the stone, carved with lightning into signs of meaning and truth. His father was a man, in many ways a lonely and forgotten man - forgotten to himself and to the world."

June 12 - Friday - So. Padre. Car stuck on beach. Kid with long blonde hair and a tow truck, lived in an old truck in the dunes, gets me out. Drins and drugs. Writings and songs with the Old Man as witness.

June 13 - Saturday - Work at Jake's. Bar Poetics and Politics. Papa John buys the shots. A pile of cocaine like a pound of flour. Fill up my entire head with the powder. Officer's Club and all the women around him.

June 14 - Sunday - A Rainy Island day. Bowling. Beat him with three strikes. Mighty Casey. Sit around Jake's. Coral Reef with Judi. God and Meaning and Insanity on the Beach. Stay at Judi's.

June 15 - Monday - Go to Mexico with Judi and Nikki. The Border. Blanca White's Bar.

June 16 - Tuesday - At the end with nothing really discovered. Return.

June 17 - Wednesday - Leave So. Padre. Drive to Austin. Use 20 qts of oil. Lisa and the dogs. The old life is over.

17 - Wed - Leave So. Padre. Drive to Austin. Use 20 qts of oil. Lisa and the dogs. The old life is over.
18 - Thu - Leave for Dallas around 2:00 pm. Out with Mark Mechler at Million Dollar. Horse Stables. West End. Brio's. Drunk.
19 - Lunch with Shannnon and Mom in the West End. Talk to Coach Witman.
20 - Depression and Dallas, TX. Dark rooms and Mookie's blanket.
21 - 22 - Leave Dallas at 5:00 am for Austin.
23 - Vicious love. New things keep her satisfied. Ride bike all over town.
24 - Leave for So Padre. Psychotic darkness of Hwy 77. Radio staions and lonlitudes.
25 - Work at Jake's. Walk on Beach at night, ocean, stars, lost in the sand. Play guitar. Kelly and I finally talk.
26 - Leave So Padre. The Corpus of Christi. Post-apocalyptic visions, fire stacks in the night. Lisa asleep. I say goodbye to the dogs. Drive on the Dallas.
27 - At the Adolphus for Grandad's B-day. Small portions on big plates with bad service. The horror as disgust.

June 28 - Drive out of Dallas at 2:00 am with Andrew Foote. Carlsbad at dawn. Red earth. Smell of sad flesh. Living earth. Descend into the Unconsciousness.
June 29 - Read The Odyssey and write all night in a Denny's in Alamogordo. On the hood of the Camaro at White Sands, listening to Neil Young's Rust Never Sleeps: Thrasher. UFOs. Conversations about the stars. Sleep. Into the park at 8:00 am. Albuquerque truck stops to shower. Windstorm. Waste Land. Santa Fe plaza. More disgust with humans. Drive out to Rio Grande Gorge. Camp on other side. Skulls and old cars.

June 30 - Taos. St Francis. Sacred Heart Pornography of the Divine. Spend some time trying to find the way to the Monastery of Christ in the Desert. Lost in the Wilderness. Down the red road. Arrive around 5:30 pm. Find a place to stay.


July 1 - attend all of the Holy Offices. The Eucharist Experience. Confronting the Primal Sacred. Pulling weeds in the Desert. Br. John and Pascal.

July 2 - Arrange to return in November. Drive out to Chaco Canyon. House of Dawn. Durango. Trishia and the kids. Mesa Verde. Sleep in car in parking lot.

- July 3 - Mesa Verde. Back to Durango.

- Money and food. Up La Plate far away from humanity. Up to Taylor Lake.

- July 4 - Up over the pass. Down giant boulders. Explore Bear Creek. See herd of Elk. Smoke in the trees like ghosts.

- July 5 - Back to Durango. On to Aspen. Late night writing in the Red Onion and various park benches. Sleep in nice neighborhood in car.

- July 6 - Shower at public pool. Snowmass monastery. Pass it up and head into Utah. Cisco Ghost town. Nuclear Waste Land. Moab Mexican food. Arches. The Desert again. Salinas. Slept in City Park.

- July 7 - Zion. Wash hair in the water. Then Vegas. Memories of Paris, Texas. Circus Circus slots. Get thrown out of Caesar's Palace. Imperials at the Dunes and get drunk.

- July 8 - Police wake us up and make us leave the Circus Circus parking lot. Drive across the Mohave in the heat of day with no a/c. Santa Barbara and Staci and David.

- July 9 - Santa Barbara. Dog memories. Guitar with Dave. Pot and coffee.

- July 10 - Up Hwy 1 to Monterey.

- July 10- Up Hwy 1 to Monterey. Jesus hitching where there is no where to pull off. Sleep in the wharf.Cannery Row.

- July 11 - Escape town early. Surfers. San Francisco. City Lights, Lyle Tuttle's tattoos, young meat at the bus station, beat. The hate of Haight. Into Palo Alto and burn in a coffee shop.

- July 11 - - July 12 Walk around Stanford. Write in Univeristy Creamery. Yosemite. Full. Over to Tioga.

- July 13 - Little Yosemite Valley and Half Dome. No water. Merced Lake: emerald but undrinkable. Hike back down. TURNING POINT. Lay down the burden. Sunset and waterfalls and as much as I could drink. Sitting on the bridge below Vernal Falls. Everything coming together.

- July 14 - Climb up to the top of Half Dome.

- July 15 - Back to Staci and David's in Santa Barbara. Isla Vista. Laughing all the time. Horses on the beach.

- July 16 - L.A. Venice Beach. Venus on sidewalk. Underside of California. A scene in the bathroom. Rodeo Drive and Sunset and Fuck Bars. Universal Studios. Fleetwood Mac. Summit Inn at top of the pass. The Fortune Telling Machine. Devil. Neon in the fog. Over the pass and into the stardust desert glowing cactus cartoon. Listening to nothing but myself.

- July 17 - Morning hours ina grove of evergreens. Fix alternator at Navaho Auto Parts Store. Durango in the evening.Hitchhikers and conversations into the late night.

- July 18 - Durango. Farmington. Drunk on wine. Long talks with Trishia.

- July 19 - Numb from the road: "The Highway Mind". IHOP in Amarillo. Dallas.

20 - "Gothic". Myths and legends. On fire with the mythic. Searching for the Blues in Dallas with Andrew. Greenville Ave Bar & Grill. Dancing with a crying woman. A 34 year old tragedy in the front seat of her car in the back parking lot.

27 - Wrote the song "Misery Was Calling Me"
31 - Travel to So Padre


10 - Two-a-days begin. Coach football until Nov. Living in gym and back of pick -up truck.

10 - Letter to Tricia Duvall. Professions of dangerous love.

20 - Wrote the song "Donna's Song".


9 - Wrote the song "Skeleton in the Rain".
10 - Letter to Andrew Foote. Referencing that I was down in Austin the night before. Lisa told me that she wanted me to come back.

- Postcard from my mother from Ireland, Corcomroe Abbey, Burren Region, Co. Clare, Ireland (sent to Princess):

Hi Scot- We love Ireland and so would you. It is a beautiful country & everyone is so friendly. The Dromeland Castle that we are staying in is really unique. We even played croquet on the front lawn! Love, Mom. (Tell all the animals hi)
27 - Postcard from my sister from the Shannon Region of Ireland, sent to the Princess address:

Scot, This island is the ripe fruit of nature. Everything is so green and simple. Perhaps the green is prophetic - symbolic of a new birth within me; a fresh start. The metamorphosis has begun. I'm starting to feel more in tune with the ever-changing life-force. Love, Shannon.
27 - Postcard from my mother from Bunratty Castle in Ireland:

Hi Scot - We went to this castle tonight to what is called "Shannon Ceili[?]" - Irish songs, dancing & food. The Irish drivers are terrible - we leave fr Dublin today. Love, Mom.
29 - Postcard from Shannon picturing Trinity College on the front:

Scot, This University gives a true meaning of the world "old". The Book of Kells were mind-boggling to see. Such an ancient book makes my life seem so fleeting. I observed the students here and they all tend to have a "rebel attitude". I hear is supposed to be a lot "more happening" than Trinity. I.L.Y. Shannon


3 - Sat - Wrote the song "A Sense of Wonder".
4 - Postcard from my mother in Ireland, Blarney Castle - with an arrow that she drew on the card indicating where the Blarney Stone was:

Scot - Would you believe that we all kissed the Blarney Stone - especially me. I have got pictures to prove it! Love, Mom.
31 - Note from Mark Mechler saying he was looking for me, hadn't seen me in a while. Another note around this time told me to come by and see him at Million Dollar Saloon.

[From the Journal "The Consolation of Insanity" - October 87 - "C1" - "A Journal os Isolation".]

1 - Reading Seferis' "Mythistorema":
"On winter nights the strong wind from the east maddened us,
in the summers we were lost in the agony of the day that couldn't die."
- Working on the "Greenhilliad".
11 - 
12 - 
13 -
14 - Sat - Espanola, New Mexico. Find a musty broken down room adjacent to the Bus Station. A charity room. Notes along the way: Incredible sunrise is Van Horn, Texas. An Old Black Woman playing blues on a banjo in the bus station on Alberquerque. A baby is crying in tune.
15 - Sun - Monastery of Christ in the Desert.
16 - 
17 - Begin to write "The Thistle That Grew Outside of an Imaginary Wall"
18 - 
19 - 
20 - Reading Walden, the Iliad, The Saviors of God, and St. Francis
21 - 
22 - 
23 - Mon - My "hermitage" in the woods nearby.
24 - 
25 - 
26 - Thu - Thanksgiving at the Monastery.
27 - 
28 - 
29 - 
31 - 
- End of football coaching career.
Mescaline Experience
Thanksgiving at the Monastery.


1 - 
2 - 
3 - Reading The Dhammapada, The Tao, and The Gita
4 - Fri -Reading Robinson Crusoe.
5 - Sat - Leave Monastery. Eucharist & Terce. Philip and Xavier. Road out to Espanola. Talk to family and friends. The banality of Christmas music. On the bus at 2:30 pm. Travel on through the night and day. All the Texas towns. Reading The Odyssey. The bus "daze". Timeless states. 
6 - Sun - Arrive Austin 5:30 pm. See "Planes, Trains & Automobiles" with Lisa. Surreal. Talk with Lisa. Play, finally, a guitar. Squirrel. Raccoon. Possum. Dogs. Garfield, Lisa's cat. 
7 - Mon - See "Brother Sun, Sister Moon". Cross my heart. TV experiences. Big Italian Dinner. Ice Cream. 
8 - Tue - Watch "Orpheus" and "Richard III". Walk dogs. Spalding Grey.
9 - Wed - Austin, Texas - Lisa's Apartment (8200 Neely Dr. #146, Austin, TX 78759]. 
10 - 
17 - 
18 - Dallas, Texas - 
24 - 
25 - Xmas in Dallas

28 - Wrote the song "No Blood Running".
31 -